#243: How To Own Your Development and Take Responsibility for Your Success: Self-Coaching in B2B Sales
This episode, you're gonna learn about the power of reflection and why that's important to your own coaching success and why you need to take responsibility for coaching yourself. Welcome back to another episode of the how to sell podcast. I am your host, Luigi Prestonenzi, We just wanna say, if you're a longtime listener, thank you for joining and contributing to our community. We really value the contribution that you make. And if you're a first time listener, welcome to the, how to sell podcast.
Luigi:We hope you take away some action insights. That'll help you sell more, but here is the disclaimer. We, when I say we, I will give you actionable insights. But my co host, Dave, he is a failed marketer. No.
Luigi:He's a failed salesperson turned failed marketer. Dave, welcome.
David:Yeah. Have you have you say failed
David:a couple of more times?
Luigi:But you know what? That's this is what's the powerful thing about this episode because this episode is all about coaching. And because you failed so many times, who better than you to contribute to this conversation?
David:You know what, Louis? Michael Jordan failed many, many times, and that's why he succeeded.
Luigi:So you know what? I wish you're Michael Jordan, bro.
David:I'm more than famous here. And I I don't like the way you said, I am your are your host. Like, all the other hosts. There was very emphatic I in here. Come on, man.
Luigi:I got a text message from, one of our good friends of the show, Reagan from GT, and she sent me a message saying, I'll tell you. She said, I am on t team Dave now.
David:Yes. See?
Luigi:She's going to your team. She said, saying that you'll have a roasting session. Anyway, so Reagan, you're more than welcome to join this session, and you can we can just do a a roasting Dave session because it makes us feel better. Actually, if you're a listener and you're having a shit day or you just wanna feel better about yourself, just just we we should do a roast Dave session. Everybody can just roast you, Dave.
Luigi:Anyway, we we gotta stop this. I think, you know, we we gotta stop making you feel so bad. But let's let's let's do jump into this because I think, Dave, for a lot of people, especially in sales. Right? And I can only talk because I've spent all my life, all my working life in selling.
Luigi:When we talk about coaching, we talk about improving. We often think about that from an external body. Right? It's our leader, our manager, a coach, somebody in enablement. That's their responsibility to coach us.
Luigi:And I don't think enough the conversation isn't had enough where as a contributor, as an individual contributor, the best way to coach is self coaching. So I'm really excited to talk about this topic with you today, Dave, and also talk a bit about how you how your journey has come along where you've become your own coach.
David:Yeah. That's interesting. And I I wanna I want you to talk a little bit more and dive deeper into what you mean by self coaching, because I think a lot of people are thinking, what what the hell is that? You know, it's something that's that's quite hard, and you can be quite critical on yourself. I think it's that voice in our head, and it's not from a business perspective, but we hear it all the time.
David:I'm not good enough. I don't look good in these clothes or whatever it might be. Right? Like, that in effect is, you know, your self talk coaching you whether it be negative or positive, right, so how would you how do you do it, right, and then I can share a little bit, you know, about my reflection process, but I'm really interested in in your world because you're a seasoned seller and you've had the highs and lows for the decades now because you're an old man. So how how have you done it?
Luigi:Well, I think and and and I think that's a great a great way to start the the the session, Dave, about the definition of self coaching. And I think what self coaching is, it's about that reflection piece. Right? It's when you're having a conversation. Doesn't matter what stage of the sales process.
Luigi:It's about giving yourself the time and space to really reflect on what's happened And go through a process of thinking about what worked well. And if I could go back and do it again, what would I do differently? And I think they're just some simple questions that we can ask ourselves so that we can see things differently. Okay? Because the power of coaching is not when somebody tells you what you could be doing differently, right?
Luigi:And I think for for anyone that's ever coached, if you're just telling people and I think we've all been on the other side of this where our sales leader is telling us what to do. Here here is the answers. This is what you should be doing. And you're like, well, that's great, but I'm not really having that moment. Yeah?
Luigi:And what great coaching does, a great coaching experience, the coach isn't actually telling you what you should have done. The coach isn't really giving you anything. It's not like you have they're they're giving you this incredible feedback. What they're doing is asking certain questions that help you think a little bit differently, help you see things differently. Now what's happened since COVID is a lot of people are working remotely, Dave, and not everybody has the exposure to an office environment and to that face to face environment when you're getting that live coaching each day.
Luigi:Now it's a lot more scheduled. And this is where I think the greatest opportunity for improvement for all sellers and for if you're listening to this, the greatest opportunity that you can have is by asking some questions of yourself. And they're the 2 questions that I always advocate. What did you do well? So asking yourself, what did I do well on this call?
Luigi:Because you're right, Dave, we can always go to the negative first. I didn't do this or I didn't do that, but that can impact confidence. So let's focus on building confidence. Right? Let's focus on what did I do well and write it down.
Luigi:I had my agenda. I asked a great question. I listened, you know, I didn't respond. All that stuff, I did this really well. And then asking that if I could go back and do do it again, what would I do differently?
Luigi:Right? Because those 2 key questions are not negative type questions. They're positive questions that'll build confidence and build the skill.
David:Now, Louis, when do you do this? Right? So two great questions, very simple. It's almost reminding me of a bit of a journaling type exercise. Right?
David:Do you do this after a sales event being a call, or do you do it at the end of the day, end of week? What's your process, for this type of self reflection?
Luigi:I think I think it's it's an opportunity for every conversation you're having with a buyer or key stage of the sales process, these questions you can ask yourself. I mean, think about a day of, like, we've got 8 hours in a day. And if we only ask ourself a self reflection piece at the end or the start of the day, we're missing those critical those critical moments during the day. Right? And I and this is why I think it's really, really important that when we schedule meetings, instead of having back to backs, especially in a virtual world, it's become very it's become okay to have a meeting from 9, 10.
Luigi:I was speaking to somebody yesterday and they're like, man, I'm literally back to back until 4 PM. This is where we need to be a bit disciplined and and allow that 10 to 15 minute gaps between meetings because, a, you wanna prepare yourself. You wanna mentally shift from one meeting to the next. But you also wanna ensure that you are reflecting on the conversation that you just had with somebody. Right?
Luigi:Because if we do want to improve and change and adapt and evolve, we've got to give ourselves a time to reflect. And I don't think we reflect enough in in in in what we do in in settings in in the sales environment. Right? Now I'm not suggesting that we need to improve every single call or every single meeting, but there is a learning from each. Yeah?
Luigi:And it's just about becoming more consciously aware of what's happening in those calls, and you can just write it down and you're building on that each and every time. Yeah?
David:You just gave me an idea. And so I'm combining what you're just saying there with what one of my friends does regularly. And that's if you're jotting down these reflection points, so it could be just on your phone or, you know, on on a notes app, something like that where after every interaction putting down, you know, based on what you said there are those 2 questions, then what you can do, by the end of the week, maybe on a Friday, for example, you're gonna have all these notes that you've taken throughout the week. Well, it's probably gonna be a few pages. You can then throw that into your AI tool of choice like a chat, JPT, or something and find a pattern, you know, give you a summary of the week, what give me 2 or 3 areas that I can improve on based on, you know, my interactions this week, and actually make it something that you work on yourself.
David:And then you can always ask a few questions to whether it's chat GBT or whatever, to areas where you can improve. So you're self coaching yourself based on the notes that you've inputted in in, you know, throughout the week.
Luigi:Yeah. And I think that's great advice, David. But I think what's key to this whole conversation is the personal accountability piece. Right? And if we think about it, our success or your success listening to this podcast, and you're listening to this podcast, you're already trying to control what you can control.
Luigi:But nobody controls your success but yours, but you. Right? It's not your manager's responsibility for you to hit target. It's not your manager's responsibility to give you coaching. And sometimes we are thinking below the line, which is, well, it's somebody else's responsibility.
Luigi:And at the end of the day, the only person responsible for you hitting your target is you. Right? And we are in a performance based role where we are judged by the outcomes that we deliver. Yeah? So this is where I often say that I need to control what I can control.
Luigi:And I've gotta be accountable, and I've gotta hold myself accountable. And I and I've this is where that self coaching is really, really important. Yeah?
David:Yeah. I I love this this track that you're now, putting us on about self accountability and and coming prepared. We spoke about this the other day on a on a separate call when we're discussing, the first chapter of our book. Right? How to sell.
David:A bit of a prelude to that. And you made this awesome comment, because I was talking about how one of the customers that we're working with, I asked them about, you know, what their technology stack? What tools are they using? What do they give their sellers in the company to help them for success? And to my amazement, they were like, we give them nothing.
David:We just they got the CRM, and if they wanna use a tool, they invest in the tool themselves. They we don't push any tools or any tech or anything onto them. Right. We say, well, here's what you need, here's your KPIs, if you need a tool to help you win that, you pay for it. And then you Yeah.
David:What was your comment about the the the tradesman, right, which is great.
Luigi:Yeah. And I understand there's one school of thought, which is, well, I'm working for a company. The company should give me the tools that I need to be successful. But I've always shared a different perspective. And the perspective is if I hire a tradesman, if I hire a carpenter, for example, the carpenter's gonna come with the tools needed to get the job done.
Luigi:Yeah? They're gonna come with the saw, the drill. Now would I have the same confidence if they came with no toolbox, if they came with no tool belt? I probably wouldn't have confidence in them to to get the job done. Yeah?
Luigi:And this is where I think, as an individual contributor, this is where we have to be personally accountable for our success. And, yes, if my company isn't giving me the tools, the Lucius to enrich data, You know, a great LinkedIn sales navigator, for example, some of the what's become now a basic tool that you need. Instead of saying, well, I'm not gonna buy it because my company's not giving it to me, because that's below the line behavior, in my opinion. That's you're justifying why you can't get it because your employer's not go and get it. Like, it's gonna pay itself 10 times.
Luigi:Like, think about it. That's an investment in building your pipeline that's gonna get you sales, that's gonna get you commission. So this is where we gotta flip the thinking. It's just like saying my my company's not investing in training or coaching. Right?
Luigi:They're not investing in my own learning. Go invest in your in your own learning. I mean, I remember going to Canada, Dave, and I really wanted to learn the power of coaching and the power of, you know, sales coaching and leadership coaching. And I spent, you know, $35,000 on a program. And I'm not, you know, sitting here big noting it and but I didn't ask anybody to pay for that.
Luigi:I paid for that myself because I saw value in it. Right? And this is I think a key conversation for for you to have with yourself if listening to this podcast. It's think about what you buy. When you see value in something, you're happy to pay for it.
Luigi:So if you're questioning, you haven't got a tool, you haven't got coaching, it's because you're not seeing value in it. It's just what your clients are doing. Your potential clients are questioning the value in the product or service that you're proposing to them. And your job is to help them see value in in what you're providing. Right?
Luigi:And the value is gonna be greater than the price that they pay. We've gotta have that same conversation with ourselves about the tools that we use, about the coaching, about the content that we're engaging with. We're paying. Look, I'm paying for to be part of paid communities because I see value in having other experts, having other individuals that are better at something than me, talk about certain topics so I can absorb that information. And this is where that personal accountability is key, Dave.
Luigi:Right? And nobody can nobody else should be in charge of your own coaching and your own success but you. So do I advocate go get an external coach? Yes. But before you get an external coach, start by doing it yourself.
Luigi:Right? Be open to the learning yourself before asking somebody else to help you see things differently. Yeah? You've gotta have that growth mindset before you can engage an external coach.
David:Just a quick interruption to let you know about a free resource that Luigi and I wanna hand over to you. This resource has helped lift close won rates to over 73% on average. Plus, you'll get our b to b sales newsletter that drops weekly, where you can learn what it takes to build a repeatable sales process and creating a pipeline full of qualified deals. To get this resource, just go to growth forum dot I o forward slash newsletter or click the link in this episode and sign up today.
David:I love that, Louie. Like, I and I think as an action, we we always talk about making these episodes really actionable so you can actually get something out of it, apply it right away, and get value from from your investment on time listening here. So we definitely recommend start doing these reflections regularly throughout the day, jotting them down somewhere, and then give it a crack and then throw it into chat gbt or or something there to start self coaching yourself. Get the value from it. Yeah.
David:Then you can imagine what it would look like if you had someone by your side in your ring that's there supporting you day by day to help you ensure your success. Yeah.
Luigi:And they're just 2 very simple things. Right? Like, at the end of the day, this is the other those, I I suppose, perspective or point of view I wanna bring into this episode. From a coaching perspective, especially from the self reflection piece, we're not after 10, 20% changes in performance. Right?
Luigi:We should be after the 0.1%. Yeah? Because if each day we can improve by literally 0.1, over time it compounds and over a month, 2 months, 3 months, all of a sudden, we have that 1, 2, 3 percent improvement. And this is the great opportunity when it comes to self reflection and coaching. Don't look to make drastic, massive changes because often it takes too much energy and focus to achieve that.
Luigi:Right? And it becomes overwhelming, Dave. It becomes very we can get anxious thinking about everything I need to do in order to improve. Strip it back. Just go back and say, you know, what is the margin?
Luigi:What is the the simple shift I can change today or I can adjust that's gonna help me go just one simple step further? Yeah? And those two questions are really, really powerful. I've all and I ask that of every coaching conversation that I have with individuals, Whenever I'm doing a a call review, I ask that first question. Hey, tell me, what did you do well?
Luigi:And I guarantee you, Dave, if you're listening to this and you ask yourself that question, 90% of the time, you go to the negative. But this is where I want you to be disciplined and hold back the negative response and go, no. No. No. What did I do well?
Luigi:Right? And then what if I could go back and do it again, what would I do differently next time? Because the premise for that coaching model is we wanna build confidence and improve skill without any negative review. Right? This is the power of this.
Luigi:I mean and if you're into books, how to win friends and influence people is should be recommended reading for every salesperson in the world. It's an old book, and it is one of the best sales books you'll ever read. And Dale Carnegie, the key takeaway from that book is you can you can give feedback and never give negative feedback. Negative feedback doesn't move you in a positive direction. Yeah?
Luigi:So I think the power of this particular episode is around control what you can control. Nobody is gonna help you. The best person that can help you is yourself. And, yes, you wanna build a network of your support and you wanna build a network of people around you that can help lift you up. At the end of the day, you've gotta be accountable for your own actions, and you've gotta own your own development and your own coaching.
